![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
But I still love you, love your delicious and nutritious food though I hate your herbal soups and always lie to you that I drank them. Whatever it is, you're still the best and I see you wearing my birthday prezzie for you now! :D
So, we went to Glutton's Bay @ Esplanade for dinner. Satay, honey roasted wings, hokkien mee and carrot cake damn good! Damn nice!
The outdoor atmosphere was awesome too. But most importantly, eating together meant the most. :)
Then we took some picts near the sea. It was so funny, and enjoyable. Love yall!
After that, we went to Marina to shop, and Daddy said he wants to see the lights in town,
so we went. Town was filled with people, and okay, can feel the x'mas atmosphere already but no money! HAHA.
Walking on streets with the occasional wind was comfortable, and I am so tired now.
I'm filled with happiness right now. :)
---
Yesterday was a fun day too! Went sun tanning with Sarah. Haha, actually, the sun has pretty little effects on me lah.
But since that girl wants to go and even her skin colour out, i'll just join the sun-fun with her.
But it was fantastic, with the damn good weather and crapping with her. Somemore the spot we chose had good music, great!
Hahaha, I'm missing the sun actually, it does makes me very happy! I don't mind getting even darker. -..- hhaa!
Lunched at Vivo after that and went shop shop. Daiso's awesome, made me looked like a cancer patient. Haha.
But i've got really stupid ideas of having fun which I think I wanna fulfill them! :D
Great day and great time out with Sarah!
- Mood:
listless
Extensions are off for now! And I'm back to short hair. Love it, because it's so easy.
Haha, currently feeling a little headache, so many things are flying into my mind.
I'm occupied with thoughts, mostly I'll call them problems.
Sad to say, it'll be tough, but I'm not gonna do anything if no one's gonna move first.
Sorry I am a passive problem solver now. I'd so much prefer someone to take the initiative because I'm tired for doing so for a long, long time.
And, I saw a really sad thing that makes me feel so angry too.
I wonder, i really wonder, what's the matter with this world.
Fucking irritating. But nevermind, nothing's built yet. And now, I choose to halt everything.
I'm really tired to think.
It's mummy's birthday today... No mood and appetite for dinner today. But gotta go...
I wish I can fall sick right now, so I can stay at home. I AM SO TIRED AND DRAINED.
I hate this lah.
I wish I can be granted 3 wishes by fairy god-mother.
Then my 3 wishes will fulfilled.
Clara.
- Mood:
crappy
And I didn't even manage to complete a single homework.
So ass, i can't even fulfill a promise to myself. ANGRY.
Haha.
Last Saturday, Ms Lee, my mother tongue teacher treated us to longbeach restaurant at east coast.
It was like a farewell dinner for her, and I know it's super expensive.
Feels bad about it, but hmm, everyone enjoyed I guess?
I mean, I enjoyed. The food's great, and there's laughter etc. And our class got the vip room, so it was kinda concentrated and cosy.
So I see no reasons not to enjoy.
But I'll really miss lao shi. She did bring much joy to my life, with ghost stories and craps. Haha.
And I'll pray, and hope that nothing bad will happen to her.
Bless her!
So yes, it was a very enjoyable dinner I had and I'm happy that I looked forward to it. :)
After that, Mich and I joined the other girls on Chinhui's pickup back home. Loved the wind, and it was very nice to sit with the girls.
One word -- Fun(:
---
Street netball at BBE on Sunday, very happening too, though the goodie bag sucked! Hahaha.
Woke up like at 6am to prepare, then headed down there. It was a very cooling morning, and I was super cold.
So for my team, there's Dulcy, Daffy, Desiree, XY and me. We won all the matches in the first round.
And then the interval was effing long so we went for lunch tgt.
My team lost only 1 match in the 2nd round if I didn't remember wrongly.
And so, we emerged 3rd. :D
Hahaha, another trophy! Not bad lah, I was really happy.
(my team)
My hair's a mess, but nevermind. I'm waiting for triplets' photos. The ones with trophy.
Because half way, my sis came and borrowed my camera away. :(
---
Then yesterday, was the postponed match. With angmohs. :O
They're very fast, and they have really strong and accurate passes.
Plus, they're tall...hahha.
But it was a really good experience. And I enjoyed playing yesterday.
Haha, and hopefully, gathering this Saturday. :)
---
Alright, I'm so busy this week. But exciting at the same time.
It's only the homework that is disrupting my fun. Heh.
Okay, gotta watch tvee now and bathe later. Lunch and then go for school training. -..-
Clara.
My hair's a mess, but nevermind. I'm waiting for triplets' photos. The ones with trophy.
Because half way, my sis came and borrowed my camera away. :(
---
Then yesterday, was the postponed match. With angmohs. :O
They're very fast, and they have really strong and accurate passes.
Plus, they're tall...hahha.
But it was a really good experience. And I enjoyed playing yesterday.
Haha, and hopefully, gathering this Saturday. :)
---
Alright, I'm so busy this week. But exciting at the same time.
It's only the homework that is disrupting my fun. Heh.
Okay, gotta watch tvee now and bathe later. Lunch and then go for school training. -..-
Clara.
- Mood:
excited
But I've long cooled down, and feeling better.
I care, I care so much, be it in the past, now or in the future,
I will still care. That is what I call love.
Esp the little one. :)
Alright, had a really nice day today! Me and a few friends skipped lessons after break because it was a total waste of time
i swear. Teachers are not even there, and it's quite disturbing to stay in school doing nothing...
So Ben, Mich, Nicol, Sarah, Siying and Ramo went KFC for breakfast after that.
I am having my mens and feeling so QWERTYUIODFGHJKKHGFD so I watched them eat.
Then went to SY's house to watch shows. Hahaha, it was so funny.
Like, we wanted to watch 2012, but then it was a little boring, so we watched some horror movies.
Damn crap, i mean, it's quite gory, and actually quite creepy,
but it's the people watching tgt made things so funny. BOOMZ! :)
It was a pity I didnt get to finish Wheregotghost with them.
But it was really enjoying. Quite cosy also. :D
Match was postponed today! So I went town with XinYing.
And I saw Miss Tang at far east. Haha. The P.E teacher yeah?
She's adorable lah.
And I bought a necklace and cardigan. Not quite satisfied, so flea market this saturday hopefully!
I'm super super tired nowww.
But still going school tmr, boring shit.
And, had fun at Jeannette's house yesterday as well. Photos:
Really crap, webcam picts. Hahaha.
Oh man, bro just asked me if I wanna go shopping with him and sis tmr,
but i'm busy tmr. :( SO SUCK!
I wanna go out with them. :(((((((
arghhhhhhh. sad.
i wanna hang out with my siblingssss. :((((((((
argh, hate school. ahhah!
Clara.
- Mood:
annoyed
She's a bitch I swear. She should just get out of our lives.
I really really detest her! You know, she's worse than a pest.
Fuck her, really fuck her.
I'm so mad. I'm burning flames. I can burst out more anytime!
It's all her fault there's no peace. Only leaving an innocent one to cry all her fuckness out.
Damn, i want to slap her. MANY MANY TIMES.
I dont ever want to see her fugly bitch face forever. If I had to see her, I'll make sure I prepare a tongue lashing for her.
I swear. I will never let her off. Fuck.
She bloody screw everything up. Anymore than this, she'll get it. I bloody swear..
I'm sorry for this horrendous post but I'm really angry! I'm really really angry!
I AM REALLY REALLY ANGRY. AND yet I am filled with sympathy.
For this small little cutie, that I really love. :(((((((
I'm heartbroken! I'm angry angry and I'm sad.
Sorry for this lousy post, but I do need to vent my anger.
Clara.
- Mood:
sympathetic
Actually, I've decided I won't say out how I feel right now.
It doesn't feel good to cancel out my earlier typing(s) just a few minutes ago,
but it doesn't make me feel good as well if I hurt someone.
And even though, I am already hurt,
I've decided that I should just shut up and face it.
I just gotta remember: I'm not lucky to have anyone to really understand anything, for me.
----
I let out a BIG, BIG sigh. Then I feel better.
I listen to some meaningful songs, and I feel understood.
I'll read my book later, then hopefully, I'll feel the want to sleep.
I'm saying, I'm stopping. You get what I mean?
No more bullshitting in my brain, no more whatsoever.
I like to be alone, if not with people that'll make me feel comfortable.
You don't know how tiring it is to look at you, but unable to tell you how I feel.
So I mind being with you, so I mind everything that I do with you.
I've taken a break, because it's so tiring.
So I really like to be alone.
And I've decided I'm not going to say anything anymore.
This will be the last. I'm halfway giving up.
Don't bother, let things be the same.
I'm afraid to see things worsen too.
----
There's always a vulnerable side, it just likes to hide behind..
----
My maths homework is screwing me up.
But I promise I'll do tomorrow, really dislike the dragging feeling.
And I'll study for monday's Chemistry test.
There're many things to do, and time is never enough.
It's holidays, but I don't mind mugging at home, for IF i know how to do every single math question.
Oh, so I do mind actually.
Whatever it is, I'll just stay focused.
I've no power to worry about any other things anyway.
Marina Barrage trip was tiring on Wednesday.
Nevertheless, I still managed to take a few nice photos with the girls. :)
And Clique won the 1st match on Wed too.
But I was getting sick, sore throat and body aches... I really feel so tired.
I feel like crying at some point of time, because of some other things.
So I didn't go school yesterday. Feel too sick and tired. I prolly won't be able to concentrate as well.
I swear I need the rest.
But we lost yesterday's match. And I've nothing much to say about that.
Just, it feels good to be eating Mac after the match in Jeanette's car at the car park near waterfront area.
And going her house next week to see dresses! Help the TALLIE see prom dresses as well.
Haha, it'll be so fun.
And with movies etc next week, I foresee it'll be a fun fun week. :)
------------
This is the only perfect jumpshot that I took. HAH.
---
I really hate livejournal. I hate to see such small picts! No fun!
I want it to be big, big, big but photobucket's too big!
Argh, horrible web.
I'll upload again in facebook anyway, when the uploading thingie is okay.
Things gotta improve alright. Really.
I'm really tired.
Clara.
P.S: If only I can see why things are like that.
---
I really hate livejournal. I hate to see such small picts! No fun!
I want it to be big, big, big but photobucket's too big!
Argh, horrible web.
I'll upload again in facebook anyway, when the uploading thingie is okay.
Things gotta improve alright. Really.
I'm really tired.
Clara.
P.S: If only I can see why things are like that.
- Mood:
drained
I'm so tired mentally. Like totally drained.
I do wish I have a pill that can make my brain stop for one day.
Sigh. I've a lot of maths corrections. But really, really NO MOOD to do...
Probably I'll just copy tmr, like I really can't care already.
Feeling so lousy right now.
There's match tmr, and marina barrage trip in e afternoon with the class.
Maybe i'm PMS-ing, but argh, i really feel so sunken.
REALLLYY, feel like screaming.
Okay, i should stop ranting.
And hopefully tmr's match'll be fine.
Sad to say, I'm pretty scared. Have no idea why, but just scared, worry, worry scared etcetc.
Btw, mother tongue paper was pretty alright.
Comprehensions were a little difficult, and yes, I'm worrying for HMT paper.
I really wanna score a distinction.
I don't wanna study mother tongue when I graduate.
I'll cross my fingers... I'll pray pray pray.
AH, okay.okayokayokayokay.
Let me rest, I promise i'll do my work tmr.
But I'm so worried. Feeling a little paranoid deep deep deep deep inside my heart now...
What'll happen tomorrow? What'll happen in the near future?
Worry worried worrying whatsoever.
........................................
Okay, Everybody's Changing is a nice song.
Clara.
- Mood: worried
- Music:Everybody's Changing-- Keane
But I decided I should just post awhile for fun before I turn in because I'm soooo tired.
My eyes are closing etc. And I revised physics for really just awhile. :(
Needing luck tomorrowwww. So shit right? HA.
Btw, I watched 'The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas' few days back with my sister at home.
A very, very good show!
Very, hmmm... kinda disturbing in the sense about how the little boy died.
WWII's really so cold. Poor people, poor jews. I will never want to experience any wars.
it's good to discuss history with my siblings, because both love history.
I was really bored yesterday. But I did enjoy the silence at home etc.
And ho, even though I always wrap my hair up after showering, it's only today that I realised the way I wrap looks like those indian ppl?
I forgotten what they are called, sihk or smth like that? I don't think the spelling is right but you know what I am talking about.
So I read my previous postss, and realised I was such an ass.
Haha, don't you agree too? I had been too much a serious person... Even I find my posts so like, no smiles one.
But okay, I do post according to my mood.
I repeat, TWO MORE WEEKS to go. I wish everything could end like earlier... But no.
Physics SPA tomorrow, quite scared, because it's PHYSICS. you know, the KILLER. for me.
Feeling so heaty. and I am missing the fun I had in the past. Like mad.
So I wanna try to do a lot of fun things this holidays, i dont care.
Maybe my definition of fun is different from all of you but who gives a damn.
It'll be all just fine as long as I'm happy. :D
Aha, chowwws.
Clara.
P.S/ I think i spent too much time watching Dvds at home. :O
- Mood:
enthralled - Music:Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
"When you were young, you learnt how to speak; You grew up, you learnt how to speak more; Even older, you learnt how to tell a lie --- Lies to no one, but yourself. "
---
Interesting... How people lie and lie and lie. And you no longer know what's the truth and what's not.
It just keeps going, a vicious cycle. And it never stop.
But yeah, it doesnt have to be literally a lie, but actions/feelings/moods etc. All can be a lie.
Just like infront of others, you are such a happy/irritating/cheerful/crappish asshole, but when it zooms down to being alone,
you feel the most comfortable because you no longer have to lie. You no longer have to act like smth that you are not.
And You no longer have to be someone that you dont wish to.
Then that's the only happy time you have in living --- When you don't have to lie, cos it's fuck tiring.
Isn't the world this way? In my world, no one seems true. Even myself. But I know when I am happy, and when I am not.
I've tried many times to think in better pictures. But all just seem so fragile, soft and incomplete.
So I gotta stop thinking, because it's pointless. Then I move on, but that's only in my mind.
In actual, HAH, I didn't move a bloody single step! :O
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't like what's in my life. I don't like the substances that I'm built with.
I hate this growing up part and I wish I could get over it asap.
I always thought I am happy with all in my life right now, but actually, I realised, I am not.
I've got what I thought I needed and wanted. But no, it doesn't fulfill anything, at all.
It's not that I am not contented. I AM actually VERY contented about what I have.
But there's just something missing. Which I think I know what it is, but I can't do anything.
I try to hide but I try to show at the same time. Then when it doesn't help, I know that's not the right way.
Man, not easy I bloody swear. Feels so limited, feels so restricted, feels so congested. HAH.
People see only the appearance, who doesn't? They think you are such a bitch, they think you try to be heard, they think you fucking manipulate, they think you fucking don't care. But what exactly do they know!? Hahaha.
Okay, no one's to be blame. When everyone's like that, then you know you are on your own.
---
I'm sorry but I do like to think the worst.
I'm a horrible girl. Hahaha, sorry too.
I think I'm more than what you think I am, bad or good? Sorry again.
I dislike the way I handle things, super sorry.
I hate the kind of moodswings I have, SORRY.
I fucking can't stand how my mind is always filled with thought(be it good or bad), sorry as well.
Hahaha.
----------
2 more weeks to ending of all lessons.
MT Olvl paper next tues; Physics SPA next monday.
Many matches to come.
Argh, feel so tired.
No motivation at all. :(((((
This is going to be a difficult holiday I foresee.
But it's okayyyy, PERSEVEREEEEE.
Hope everyone does it too.
Clara.
- Location:Home.
- Mood:
refreshed - Music:Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
I doubt I'll sleep peacefully tonight because I took a friggin' long 4hours nap earlier on.
Serious, I didn't know I was that tired and once I got on my bed, I totally became dead log.
Such naps are bad for me, cos that means i'll prolly be awake for quite some time.
By the way, I didn't go training today. Thought of my Chinese O lvls and coming SPA exams for my 3 sciences just turns me off fully.
I gotta prepare for that. I don't want to disappoint myself. I hate disappointing myself.
But yet I always fucking disappoint myself. ARGHHHHHHH.
School was damn slack, just spent the whole time in the hall waiting for my turn to get my compassion award. :D
Oh, and I got back my report book today. Haha, so ended up I didn't fail any subjects.
Happy, and sad at the same time. Not exactly the best results I would want.
But I will improve, just gotta keep trying. Hope to see more As next time.
So gotten the school schedule for the next 3 weeks, real boring shit. But forget it, school's just like that.
Hahaha, thinking on the brighter side, I still get my pocket money.
I think my whole body's aching. I think I am such a tired girl.
Shoulders in pain, palm's in pain, neck in pain, everywhere also pain.
I think my body always gives me problems, I'm going to do a full body check up soon.
For the sake of it lah, Mom also asks me to go if I want to. But she's not gonna accompany me. :(
I've still got my sis anyway, so it doesn't matter. AHH.
Oh and I've made up my mind. Feels good knowing that I've done something decisive once again.
Hope I won't look back or anything lah, if not all the brain juices will be wasted totally.
HAHAHA, I think, I should just think about nothing and be a happy person leading the nerdy life.
Bet it'll be interesting in some ways.
BYE.
Clara.
- Mood:
determined
I know I'm compassionate lah, but do I show it in my face and teachers can see it? Hmmm, psychic maybeee.
Anyway, the rehearsal was a total waste of time, luckily Bart was there to crap with me. Ahh, if not I'll probably rot to death.
So I just bathed and had dinner, was not very hungry though I didn't eat lunch.
Told you my tummy is spoiling, and the truth is, I practically can't taste foods properly now.
I think it's a painful thing. But blame it on myself for the irregular meals and retarded amounts each time.
Arghhhh, this can be quite a terrible thing. :(
Hate it. I want my taste buds back, working properly!
But anyway, I had a fun time with Michelle, Sarah, Ramona, Nick, Nicol, Ben, Wen Xuan, Peter and David earlier on playing badminton at ben's house. I swear it's so fun. Haha. It has been really long since I played proper badminton.
So feeling quite great now and I'm tired.
Lets play again some time. :)
Then wii at his place as well. I wanna try the guitar thingie next time.. Ahha, bottomline, I'm very very tired.
Okay, interclass tomorrow, gonna just anyhow play.
I think I should go and sleep at 10 later on. And I shall screw my chemistry mock spa up.
I dont think I have the energy to go revise for it already.
Sigh, thinking about it just makes me feel even more tired.
Bless me!
Clara.
P.S: i didn't know my limits, until today i guess. i think i really gotta put my heart in to really, really put him down. so tough, but yes.
- Mood:
tired
I really know. And what I really, really know is that, this is the kind of love that keep me going.
So no matter how difficult and tiring life gets, I'm gonna do just fine.
By the way, it's my cousin's birthday today. Ohmy, he's gonna start his 17again story because he just loves it.
He just loves being said that he looks younger than his younger brother. Haha, love their jokes either way.
We celebrated his birthday yesterday at Fish&co, because Manhattan Fish Market was fuck packed.
Haha, the food was awesomeness. It was my first time eating there but okay, a pretty pleasant experience with lots of birthdays going on and live band, and good food, good tea.
After dinner, the 5 of us went to Cathay for movies. AHHA, I watched a M18 show yesterday night! -- The Hurt Locker.
It's about war, conflicts, and I really admired the soldiers' bravery. Madness, seriously madness.
By the way, it's not that I wanna watch this show, but because I was the youngest among 5, and I didn't want them to watch shows that they didn't want just because of me, so I told them to just watch whatever they want to and I'll follow suit to be accommodative.
So ended up, the Hurt Locker is a fantastic show. Just a little vulgar and a little bit of gore, but it's really okay.
And I reached home near 3am yesterday. Very tired.
Oh, so I guessed I prolly experienced my first menses cramp last night!
Haha, i never had it before, so can't be sure. But it was rather uncomfortable.
I deserved it anyway, blame myself for STILL drinking cold drinks and tea. Ahh.
But feeling so much better already.
---
On a lighter note, I'm feeling so tired today. God knows why. My body seemed totally drained/sucked by suckers from no where.
(Oh, don't worry, those suckers are generally suckers, no exact people that I'm talking about. )
My back is aching, shoulders as well. Sometimes I really want to sleep, but when I close my eyes, I'm wide awake again.
Trust me, I've no idea what's running in my brain, my mind and my heart. But, argh, I just can't get to sleep at times.
And I know I've fallen in love with this stupid person, who is also one that I HAVE to let go now.
Haha, pathetic isn't it? Fell in, and then leave in a hurry before anything is even done.
But it's okay, I know I'll be just fine. And precisely because I WANT to be fine, that I gotta let things go.
Nobody needs to understand, nobody needs to give a damn.
I just hope I will make e right choice and then be happy forever. AHHA. Oh my gosh, I sound like some idiot. Fuck.
But then, awww. It's quite hard you know. It's just not easy. But TRYTRYTRY, no arguments for myself.
Gotta moveeee on, gotta control my feelings, gotta open one eye close one eye, gotta slowly step by step and move.
Okay, shut about it already, though I think I'm missing him, but NO. Just off the comp and I shall sleep.
Happy Birthday Yuan Chun! You're so old already! HEHEHE.
Clara.
P.S: Ris Low is so SHINGZ. Because she's not BOOMZ, at all. Man, really CMI.
- Mood: tired
The chinese teacher issue is one, because my teacher is so poor thing.
Then, my results were disappointing and I feel so irritated. HA.
Next, yesterday's training was so... weird? I mean, prolly I FEEL weird in my mind.
Let's talk about this more.
So last night, training was pretty light since many didn't touch the ball for a long, long time.
Haha, but I feel like I'm always not improving and all.
What's worse is that I'm so afraid my passion is dying... Now, I'm starting to think that NB doesn't make me as happy as last time.
Idk, it feels terrible I SWEAR. I've been playing for 3 years and there're so many ups and downs...
But actually, even if it's dying now, I'm letting it go. I don't want to do something when I no longer find myself at peace with it.
It's a scary thought. But I thought I may just finish up some loose ends before I decide about anything.
So, for now, I'm not gonna think about it much and just continue training and playing.
I'll just know it when it comes to the point when I gotta bring myself to face this again.
But until then, I shall smile to it! :D
By the way, to some personal matters,
I thought actually it made me feel better.
I'm not angry, not pissed or anything. In fact, I just feel upset and a little disappointed maybe?
Those concerns, some I agree and felt bad about it (&truly sorry about), but some, were totally quite senseless and didn't really need the opinions and views from others because it's just how I am and how my life works.
What matters most is that I'm comfortable and happy with my life and friends etc right?
I don't think I'm living for anyone else, but I just feel a little glad that there're misunderstandings that people wanna clear with me.
Really, I'm very, very glad. :D
So, I'm glad and upset. But mainly, glad comes first.
Haha, whatever it is, I'm still going to carry on living my own kinda life and because I know I can't please everyone(which I don't intend to), it really doesn't matter if things gonna continue or anything.
I'll just make it a feel free kinda thing if people just wanna talk to me or smth like that?
It's fine with me, haha, I'm a talkative girl, if there're things for us to talk.
But definitely, I'll be in a smiley tone to it. No point being frustrated.
I don't want more wrinkles!
Ahha, don't worry, not a single cell in me will bear a grudge, cos I'm not that kind of person. :)
You can choose not to believe, but I know at least my good friends who understand me will understand.
----
Oh, relationships are hard to maintain when you dont know what's the problem.
But when you know it, and you say it, everything will be okay.
So I think me and Des are pretty good at it, right? Haha.
I always like to think that even though it's only the 2 of us together most of the time, we can still do productive talking and all.
I know it'll just get better and nothing else. :)
And I know she knows it too.
Smiles.
And, I watched { Imagine That } with Michelle yesterday!
It's a funny show, and I couldn't stop laughing. But I dont know if I laughed a little too loud in the theatre.
Oops, but nevermind, I thought the lines were pretty hilarious. Haha.
Go watch it if you don't know what to watch. :)
The girl is really cute with her gu-ga and "princesses".
---
I made my Mum upset yesterday, but she made me too. And "priangggg", my "fragile" heart really broke.
Ha, havent really talked to her yet since I was pretty packed yesterday, with school, training and etc.
But I know thing's will be back the same after lunch later on. :D
So, i survived yesterday...
Really tired plus no dinner, no appetite and many heavy things pressing down suddenly.
Haha, but nevermind, because now I'm actually feeling so much better now.
And thanks Michelle, really love you a lot. :D
Okay, that's it. It's a Saturday and I know I'm going to enjoy.
Let's put ignorant people down and be happy with our lives.
I'm so hungry now.
Clara.
- Location:Room
- Mood:
calm - Music:Black Horse and The Cherry Tree-- KT Tunstall
Time passed really fast and I had grown a year older.
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes.
I'm really happy. :)
Family celebrated with me on Saturday.
We had dinner at Clarke Quay, Central. The food was fantastic, but the service was a little screwed up.
Haha. It was pretty expensive and it doesn't really make me feel out of the world.
So prolly I'll choose something more local next time.
Then we walked around Clarke Quay and I saw this CLINIC kind of pub.
It was designed like a clinic with the waiters and etc wearing nurses uniform.
Pretty cool!
---
So yesterday, was the official day. And my family bought a cake in the morning to celebrate with me again.
Since I had a date in the afternoon.
Went off to meet Desiree at cck. And we travelled down to Marina Bay because she wanted to celebrate with me at Marina Barrage.
LIke i told her, I wasn't feeling the best actually but yeah, since it's my birthday, I shall smileeee.
I swear it was a sorching hot day! Luckily there was wind, if not I'll die of dehydration.
The scenery there was really nice. But probably nicer if there were less construction sites.
So the 2 of us camwhored and etc. Photos look beautiful, with the green grass and blue sky. :)
Then, that girl told me she wanted to shit. So she left for the toilet, leaving me alone sitting at the picnic area.
So I sat there alone, thinking maybe the day will just be very peaceful with just Des celebrating with me.
Haha, I know it'll be enjoyable too, since she assured me she has plans afterwards.
But, ohmygod, it was just so hot that I can't tahan so I took her umbrella for shade.
I think I looked like an idiot at that moment. Sitting alone taking umbrella, thinking why that ass so long haven't come back.
Then this is the really sweet part.
She came back, (like finally), and then took the umbrella to cover me like mad.
Saying I cannot open my eyes until she said can. Haha, i thought she wanted to show me some video or something on her phone.
I waited for her to let me open my eyes, and when I did,
the surprise came! Hahhhaa.
Benjamin, Chongwei, Nicol, Nicholas, David and Peter walked towards me singing the birthday song.
AHHA, holding the cake and my present.
That was a good surprise, I swear. Haha, and I am really, really touched.
I thought Des really went shitting and the guys wont have time to celebrate with me since it was a Sunday.
But they all came all the way down to Marina Barrage to celebrate with me.
Really appreciate the effort all of them made, and yep, really touched. :D
Especially Desiree, thanks so much for everything. I love ur presents and love you even more!
For the guys, same as well. You people made my day really awesome and enjoyable.
Hahhaa, thanksssss. I love all of youuuu.
![Photobucket]("http://s564.photobucket.com/albums/ss82/Claralimyanfang/Clara%20Day/?action=view¤t=41.jpg")
The guys took a lot of jumpshots and the best things were the videos we took.
Haha! I can't stop laughing when watching them.
I'll post the rest of the photos on facebook. If not my blog will be a little too lag.
Peter and David went back earlier so the 6 of us went PS for dinner.
Haha, Nicol has this interest in making friends with people serving him. AHHA.
Swenses was really okay. But I definitely have to try Fish&co someday. :D
So the day ended well and I am really happy/delightful/smiley whatsoever.
The surprise was really awesome, and well, had a fun day with all of you.
Thanks thanks thanks thanks thankssss.
Loved everything planned!
---
okay, so I watched Julie and Julia today with my sister. A very sweet and heartwarming show!
I loved it, it's like totally the kinda show I like. Haha.
And, I think I am getting my new laptop tomorrow! GREAT!
Thanks to my family.
And here, just one last photo.
Thanks for your present too!
--
Great birthday I had this year.
Just hope I'll be an even happier person.
Clara.
- Mood:
giggly
I WANT TO WATCH THISSSSSS!
Alice In Wonderland! HAHAHA, there's Johnny Depp, so hot!
I shall be patient. and watch it next year.. :D
It'll be showing in March...
By the way, I woke up at 5.30 this morning! So much for wanting a good sleep.
Hate nightmares. Always wake me up in the middle of nowhere.
But it's okay, can't go back to sleep either.
Shall continue spamming movie trailers...
This movie looks pretty nice too. It's about a young girl who has been murdered watches over her family.
She must weigh her desire for vengeance against her desire for her family to heal --- Her killer's from heaven or smth like that.
Haha, interesting.... Hope it's not rated or anything.
Hm, but actually, it doesnt matter also. ahha.
One the first look, I thought it looks like the Orphan follow-up.
But it's not. Hmm, it's those typical type of thriller I guess.
Maybe if I want something bloody this will be nice. Haha.
Okay, but I scared I'll get freaked out by the violence.
Ah, whatever lah.
Okay, i think I wanna go and rent some dvds to watch now.
My room's a mess but I dont care, yet.
Maybe tomorrow morning then I'll go do some filing and packing.
Clara.
- Mood: excited
There's this empty feeling, that I am not quite happy about.
Yes, EXAMS are OVER! But doesn't feel exactly great.
I don't know why too. It's more to the relieved kinda feel. Hahaha.
Whatever shit, I have 5 days of break from today!
By the way, I've extended my hair and I'm so not used to it!
Like, something ticklish down my shoulder. Ahha.
Just don't say anything about it, I feel happy can already. :)
This exam period, I felt so stressed out and tired.
Like, sleep is never enough and I can't very well focus in much revision.
So, I promise I MUST have a good sleep tonight.
And I'll sleep like I never slept.
My body doesn't feel very, very well as well.
Aiya, I just seem to screw up everything in my life.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I must go exercising soon. And training, yes.
Probably I feel tired because of the lack in exercising.
So, must buck up. What's more, I think there're 2 categories of matches that I may be playing this coming holidays.
Not sure too.
Okay, no matter how down and sick I may feel,
I guess these coming 2 weeks will be a lot of fun. (at least, I hope so.)
Though nothing much exciting, what I'm gonna love is the bonds.
With whoever's gonna be with me, playing, eating or rubbishing.
Many people are having their birthdays this month anw.
Constance, Yuan Chun, XinyingZ, XinyingT, Siying etc etc.
All are nice people, so I HOPE I'll have enough $$ for their presents.
Hahahhaha.
I really had lots of fun at my cousin's wedding last Sunday.
Feels great to bond altogether with my cuzzies.
Honestly speaking, I think the most blessed thing in my life is having a big bunch of wonderful cousins.
Hahaha. Awww.
O'lvls MT paper next month, plus SPA.
I have FIVE5555 undone chinese compos. (suffocates!)
I better start doing them soon.
Oh, btw, last week when I was out,
I helped this nerdy looking guy did a short survey on some future work choices blah blah blah.
Then some days ago, this Jasmine girl called me and asked me if I'm interested for an interview.
Like what the fuck. She said it's some part time sales thingie where you work the weekend for $70 a day.
HAH! NO WAY am I gonna sell my precious weeked for a mere $70. Go and die. :)
What's more, i know my parents wont allow, and work is so boring.
So I just told them I'm not in need of a job and I'm still schooling. :D
Ahha, what a redundant post!
&Hope everyone's enjoying their break
Post again.
Clara.
- Location:Living roommmm.
- Mood: calm
Sad to say, I dont think I have much to say.
But I'll just cover what was done these few days. Haha.
Definitely fun, but a little too much.
Friday, I felt pretty moody/moodless/sian and uncomfortable.
I can't stand myself anyway, so I went home during recess.
My sister said I was too stress, haha, and my body's giving me the reactions.
So, my bro and sis brought me out for dinner.
She told me to just have fun, and relax. Oh well, I did.
Because it was really a very, very enjoying night. :)
We went to Marina area, and hearing those F1 sounds was impressive enough.
Bloody loud la. And my aunt actually has tickets to the race! F.
Dinner at NewYorkNY, Citylink. Food was more than nice, haha, and fondue.
One thing about going out with them is that I don't need to spend a single cent.
Haha, dinner's on both of them and movie's on bro.
I don't mind being the youngest foreverrrrrr.
After that we went walking around and then to Cineleisure for Phobia 2.
It was funny shit! Yeah, scary about karma and all, but the last part was totally comedy.
Hahaha, everyone had a pretty good laugh.
Reached home around 2plus.
But I wasn't exactly exhausted yet. ;)
My salmon steak. Damn good.
They really cheered me up laaaa.
Thanksssss.
---
Okay, then yesterday, supposedly, I planned to study.
But alright, turned out unproductive. Really feel like smacking myself.
After my granny's house yesterday, I went town to meet XinYing for dinner.
Billy Bombers really bombed me. Haha, freaking big portions and I almost died. Erghhh.
I took some photos but I shall upload next time because cable's not working. :(
-
By the way, my cousin's wedding (tea ceromony only) was pretty fun.
My cousin's husband is so crap! Haha, really laughed throughout.
We went Upper Pierce Reservoir for photo shooting and okay, hot but beautiful.
And the buffet at her house was superb!
pretty smallies!
One is my cousin, and one is my niece.
Hahaha. And we ( my sis, elaine and me) were so bright that day. Orange, red and turqoise dress colours... Hahaha.
So cute lah.
Her banquet will be next month and I'm helping out as well.
I really gotta start studying properly, like really focus.
Bet everyone's mugging like mad already...
Haha, post soon!
Claraaaaaaa.
- Mood:
thirsty
Ohhh, been so long since I posted.
Even longer since I used the comp.
Hahaha, pretty lazy to update blog, twitter and facebook.
But then, I won't let them die there lah.
BROTHER'S BACK! I missed him so much.
So great, he'll be back for the whole of next week. :)
Then, Sister's starting her work next tues!
I feel so great and happy!
Tomorrow will be a fun day too.
Gonna wake up early with my sis and head over to my cousin's house for her wedding preparation.
But there're two parts to it: tomorrow's the tea ceromony; october's the banquet.
So I'll have fun two times.
Plus red packetsssss.
Hopefully I wont be lazy to update the photos of tomorrow soon.
Exams are coming, havent start my revision yet.
Haha, dieeeeee.
:)
Clara.
- Mood:
cheerful
I'm still learning, and I'm still growing.
Or should I say, I'm still learning to grow?
Hmmmmmmm.
Feels like any other usual night right now.
In an air-cond room, trying to think of my next line.
No music for today!
I just feel like, my iPod, is no longer fulfilling my hunger for music,
instead, it turned into my way of isolating myself from the surroundings.
Yes, what a pity!
I'm dying for many things now.
I'm itching to spend some real bucks, but I gotta control.
Because, there is this BIG, BIG important thing for me, which will need money.
I just hope my body will improve better and better.
And of course, my mental state.
Hahaha, don't worry. I know I sound like some terminally ill patient,
BUT I'M SO NOT.
It's just a little worse than before.
But I'll get over it, I promise. :)
Up till now, I've started quite a bit of work, but still a lot more to go.
Actually, this holidays isnt that bad.
Just hovering around extra lessons and home.
Which, I really find it enjoyable, and most importantly, not tiring.
Like, my class did titration experiments today.
I thought it was a great time: Waiting for the damn chemical to turn colour with just that important drop.
We even finished 2 of it today!
Haha, titration is really fun.
So, me and my sister was asked to be the "sisters" kinda thing for my cousin's wedding next week or so.
Pretty looking forward to it because there should be red packets. Haha.
Prolly going shopping with my Mommy to check out clothes this Saturday.
Actually, that is the dreading part. I feel so lazy to try on clothes and see here, see there.
Totally meaningless to me right now.
And yeah, club training this Friday. Great, I love training with them.
At least I feel that I'll learn something. Haha.
Just see, I don't feel anything for the school team.
Or should I say, I'm more to playing for recreation sake already.
I'm long over the super, passionate period.
I don't know when that's over, but yeah, I'm not thinking about that that much already.
I just feel that I should do something which I will enjoy.
I'm just having less hesitations and qualms about what I want and like to do now.
Say, at this moment, I feel like baking.
Hahaha, but oh no, it'll turn me all so oily and sweaty.
So probably tomorrow.
But hmmm, I feel like clearing my room and desks and wardrobe too!
er, better not now, in case some living things jump onto me.
I will scream really loud, okay.
I shall push everything till tomorrow after Bio lesson. :)
I'm excited about the plants topic we're studying now.
It's really interesting. How amazing plants can be.
Hahaha.
Exams are coming really soon.
And just nice it will end right before my birthday.
But I've not much feelings to it currently.
Birthdays, come to think of it, what's so special about that?
Though it's only once in a year, it's pointless if people around you makes you happy and smiling and laughing ONLY on that day.
Am I not right? Haha.
But nevermind, I shall make my birthday wish here first:
I want to be happy and smiling and laughing everyday.
Haha, alright. But I gotta make my niece happy first lah.
Her birthday's this coming Sun!
What should I get for her....
Oh, what a wonderful post.
I've listed so much crap out.
And it feels really great to jingle mingle.
I'll be alright.
Clara, :)
(on a shorter note:
It's my Gram's death anniversary today. I still miss her a lot actually, just that I dont say/show. I know Mommy misses her too.
Time passes so quickly; Today, 2 years ago, she passed away, not in the easiest way though.
I still remember the sobs, tears and cries. Most importantly, I miss Gram's laughter. Haha, especially when she plays mahjong.
I love her, and I know she'll keep a lookout for me in heaven. :)
,many <3 )
- Mood: calm
Sad to say, I no longer know who I am and what I am.
It's really scary, and I am afraid to lose myself one day.
I dont know, I feel so ill and disgusted the whole time.
I'm having too many fears in my mind.
I am not determined neither am I having the control over myself.
I am really scared you know. Scared and scared is just the word.
It sucks to say this, but I want to die most of the time.
If my family dont even try to understand, I wonder who will be the one understanding.
Man, really depressing and I feel nothing but anger/unhappiness/sadness/violence.
I feel like tearing everything in my hands.
I'm not being emotional, I am not being ridiculous.
But all these are what I feel right now, right here infront the computer.
I want to run away. I dont want to lose my temper, I dont want to argue/quarrel/shout/scream anymore.
I am afraid of that, and I am tired of them.
If I really had a choice, I wished I changed earlier.
I wished I realised earlier.
Now that it gets out of hand, I really dont know what to do.
I feel so fucking lost. I feel so horrified.
Am I still myself?
Or should I just hide away.
I am really scary. and I'm afraid of myself.
Clara.
- Mood: numb
